Saturday Morning Cartoons: Bill Belichick is insane, parents need to chill the hell out, Nebraska, Bowden, Jailhouse Lawyers

Sometimes the Saturday morning cartoons become the Saturday afternoon cartoons but thats okay.

1.  The Embattled New England Patriots. 

We only care about the balls being deflated because the story involves the Embattled New England Patriots (ENEP).  It’s a sign of the times or an evolution of our culture; but we haven’t always hated winners so much.  However, winners have mostly always been villians. These days, organizations just don’t have the capacity to maintain one public face in front of the media while hiding another behind the curtain.  We can thank Vince McMahon or pro-wrestling, but nowadays we kind of prefer the real heel over the phony hero.  There are still those of you out there that will carry water for the worst of people because you still want to believe in a simpler time; a time when the Dallas Cowboys represented America and the New York Yankees were clean shaven wholesome ballplayers.  Oh, how we long for the way it never was.

As Paul Daugherty once wrote, “Athletes aren’t role models. They need role models.”   Crooks, traitors, cheats, drunks, drug addicts, womanizers, wife beaters, gamblers, rule benders, gangsters and rogues, have always dominated professional sports.  The ENEP are loved by people because they win, and for no other reason.  Tom Brady cheated on his pregnant girlfriend, I guess he is above lying to a bunch of strangers?  Only the simplest of minds believe that people who make millions to play games are basically good and don’t plan every move.   These guys stand for nothing.  Professional athletes are paper thin.  They don’t have time not to care about every detail.

Do you trust Aaron Rogers but curse insurance companies?  Aaron Rogers doesn’t care that as soon as your loved one is injured or dies in an auto accident, State Farm immediately dispenses someone to devalue the worth of your loved one’s life.  The only thing Aaron Rogers cares about is cashing those checks.  We are talking about a group of people who only agreed to start testing 5 players per week for HGH, three months ago.  Alex Rodriguez’s entire Hall of Fame caliber baseball career is tarnished for doing what was common practice in the NFL, up until October of 2014.  Alex Rodriguez was never caught using too much pine tar or swinging a corked bat but the ENEP have been caught multiple times now and we love it.

I’m skeptical of a “culture” that tries to blame the “culture” for raping and urinating on a woman.  Those were college students, but we know more about Johnny Manziel than we do Tom Brady.  Absolutely, the ENEP cheat; and they cheat in ways we will never know about.

2.  The Hockey dad that broke the glass.

This guy is catching hell all over the internet.  Just how unlucky of a man is this guy?  It’s little girls playing hockey.  Just let this be a learning tool and give the guy a break.  Vent at the pros, you probably shouldn’t ever have that much invested in children’s games.   The worst person in the video is probably the lady who sarcastically yells, “Way to go Paul!”.

3.  We live in the new Golden Age of Hollywood. 

I watched the movie Nebraska last night on Netflix.  While this isn’t Nebraska, you will identify with many of the characters.  The movie is gut wrenchingly funny and honest at the same time.  So much so, that you will find yourself cringing because you have met many of the characters in real life. Its really about the good, the bad, and the ugly of America; tucked nicely into a story about tragedy and love.

4.  Bobby Bowden wants his wins restored now but the problem is Florida State didn’t start covering up rape until the Jimbo Fisher era. 

Bowden had 12 wins vacated by the NCAA as part of an academic scandal that took place in 2006 and 2007. The Florida State coaches were never implicated in the scandal, and Bowden thinks it’s time he got his 12 wins back.  Bowden is probably right.  Really, its embarrassing.  If Paterno had acted like a damn man who had an ounce of brains and integrity, there is a very good chance that people would have been arrested and the damage would have cost Penn State wins one way or another.  Penn State’s alumni and boosters have displayed a sickness and psychosis that is cult like.

5.  Even criminals are shocked by the NFL’s disregard for everything human. 

According to WFAA-8 in Dallas, Terry Hendrix, who is incarcerated in a Colorado correctional facility, has filed a lawsuit against the NFL seeking over $88 billion in damages because of the Dez Bryant call against Dallas in the divisional playoff game vs. the Green Bay Packers.  I’ve pasted the handwritten complaint below:

Inmate lawsuit against NFL

6.  The Bengals should do a caravan like the Reds.

The Reds are loved, the Bengals simply are not.  Therefore, a caravan around Ohio, Kentucky, and Indiana would be entertaining if nothing else.  NFL fans are less loyal than baseball fans to begin with, combine that with a few decades of failing to do anything in the postseason and I think you might have the perfect storm.  Imagine Andy Dalton showing up in a bus at someone’s house in eastern Kentucky?  First they would want to know who the hell he was before demanding that he take his pilates having ass out of their driveway.  The NFL is popular but not loved.

Enjoy the rest of your weekend folks.  Follow us on Twitter @859sports.  Engage with us, we love the banter.

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